Things Dad Would Especially Love
Research confirms that a father plays a unique role in the development of his children’s self-esteem, behavior, life choices and relationships. This is why this Father's Day, let us treat him as a king. So here are the things Dad would specially love to receive:
In Ephesians 5:33, speaking to married couples, Paul wrote, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” . I’ve always found this verse interesting. God knows our hearts and what we need most. One of my core needs as a woman, as a wife, is to feel cherished. I love to be held and tucked into my husband’s embrace. Most women I know feel the same.
Respecting him also means speaking kindly to him, refusing to criticize or belittle him in public or in private, honoring his leadership, and calling out his positive qualities.
Most men are not so alert to their feelings or quick to express them. In fact, many have been taught, over their lifetime, to remain stoic and “strong.” But that doesn’t mean they don’t crave emotional connection. They do. They need to know that they are loved; and we must speak love in ways they understand. While some men are talkers, most prefer to connect through activities. Many men especially enjoy completing projects with their loved ones.
While constructive feedback is important, the human heart can only take so much before it becomes bruised if not crushed. I’ve read it takes 5-10 compliments or affirmations to undo one negative comment. While I can’t speak on the ratio’s validity, I do know we seem to give the critical statements much more weight than positive.
Men may not express their pain; they might even laugh it off, but that doesn’t mean the criticism doesn’t hurt. Every time we encourage them, whether that’s telling them they’re a great husband or provider, or perhaps simply how fun they are to have around, we help sooth their hurt and fortify them against future pain.
Periodically thanking him for all he does for you and the family is another great way to encourage him. This tells him you notice his efforts and it helps to build him up.
As Christians, we’re told to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17), about the big and small things and certainly for those who mean the most to us. We can be confident that God hears every word and is constantly working all things for our loved one’s good and His glory (Romans 8:28).
LaughterThe more stressful our husband or father’s life feels, the more they need to experience joy. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones”.
We’ve probably all experienced this. When I’m going through a particularly tense period, I prioritize time with my silly and humorous friends. After an afternoon spent with them, I can face my challenges with a lighter heart, better attitude and mental fortitude. Our husbands and fathers periodically need this type of interaction as well.
This Father’s Day, consider going to a clean comedy show, challenging one another to a joke off, or finding Christian comedy clips on YouTube.
GraceThere’s the pressure many men place upon themselves. They truly want to be the best fathers and husbands possible. Their concern for their family’s financial well-being often clashes with their desire to spend time with us. Many of them also carry the weight of their loved one’s unrealistic expectations.
They certainly don’t want to say or do anything that might hurt us, but they aren’t Jesus and never will be. Therefore, they need ample grace. They need the same level of grace we want others to show us. This Father’s Day, may we go first and demonstrate, to our fathers, husbands, and watching children what it looks like to love our men well.
We can still buy them that special gift, absolutely, especially if it’s something they’ve been hoping for. But may those material things never replace what fathers need most—to know they’re seen, loved, supported, encouraged, prayed for, and appreciated. And may we all laugh, long, often, and heartily, in the process.
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